and it goes something like this.

Right after my 18th birthday in August, my 13 year old brother started hanging out with Chris and ultimately me… I had the car and I was always driving them around to smoke a joint or what ever. After a couple weeks of hanging out and a lot of pressure I lost my virginity to Chris (after the imiganry Zombie invasion) at a run down abandoned house. I had sex with him once more after that. Chris, my brother and I went to Heather’s house for some reason. a couple weeks later I find out that she’s ‘together’ with him… I freak out… choose Chris over Heather. We hang out with this other chick named Amanda who snuck out of her house to hang out with us… I was always the one sneaking her out of her house… and every time that I did they would constantly fuck in front of me. I constatnly find ways to keep them appart.. like I’d pick him up and say that we were going to pick her up but instead I would feed him drugs (I wasn’t on drugs… I would buy him what he wanted if I didn’t have to pick her up)… of couse they break up… and long story short… I seriousally loved this crack head and would stick around while he had sex with almost every single one of my friends. My other friends I wasn’t so bad with… I would stick around and just hang out… always trying something sneaky and I was constantly having sex with him in between girls hoping that when he was done with them that he would realized that I did love him… I eventually got tired of paying for his drugs with no real benefit so I started doing them with him (btw… this whole time I was aware that he was bi…) eventually I’m investing more money into buying drugs and doing them that I blow the motor up in my car. After a huge argument, I go to a Job Corps center because I found out that at the center it was possible to still get a high school diploma, upon completion my brother is homeless so I take the money I earned and invest in an apartment.. Chris eventually weasels his way into living with us. except he’s no longer just smoking and snorting coke, he’s shooting up. My brother and I had gotten into a huge argument, I locked myself in the bathroom, Chris came to check on me after about 10-15 mins… I let him in, I sat in the floor and we talked about the good days between us (there were pleanty.. I had reason to fall in love) and out nowhere we start talking about when we done drugs together, one thing led to another and he was shooting up in front of me. Of course I forgave him and we starting doing it again constantly. I eventually start doing coke again and Chris and I end up in a motel… we were having sex again, I looked straight into his eyes and made him stop… and left… a month later… after I got away from the drugs… I had a miscarriage. I seen him at Christmas and officialized the fact that I was just his whore and that I never mattered.

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