Memories keep dancing inside her head. Like slides of an old film on a projector. She blames it on the season; Autumn… Cold, soggy, and gloomy old autumn. At least winter didn’t pretend to be grand with deceitfully beautiful vibrant colors. No, winter admits to representing death and she would prefer death to dying. Inhaling the smoke she remissness about previous autumns.Tangoing with all the reasons why she hates the season; reasons why she shouldn’t even bother but still questioned herself. Why didn’t she eliminate what made her feel insignificant?! Dwelling on exactly what it was that caused her to ignore her instincts. Switching cd’s and music genre, she smiled noticing her music taste usually changed with the seasons. Not major different genre with one base style. “With the lights out it’s less dangerous” . Hearing the voice of Kurt Cobain opened up a possibility. Her home life in high school was more like a prison cell. It was only natural that she felt the need to find a voice. She found Kurt Cobain & Nirvana to become her voice. Then that boy. Though she hated him she had taken a single photo of him because with his long hair he looked like Kurt Cobain on the last day of her junior year. She never intended on having sex with him, yet along talking to him. It was always his idea. He used her and as cliche as it sounds abused her. Her brother’s words played in her head drowning out her music; “Your so stupid he only calls you when it’s time to get high or wants to have sex. Your his whore…” the last phrase kept screaming at her… “his whore”. What makes it worse just the night before he called her to hang out and ended up pressuring her to have sex. For the first time in the 3 years they had been sleeping together she opened her eyes only to peer into hallow and soulless eyes. She left that night. And never looked back. To say that she didn’t want to run back would be a lie. Cracking the menthol ball inside the filter of her cigarette and searching for her lighter she forced herself to push away these memories with a positive memory. The negative memories out number the positive memories but the positive memories out weigh the negative ones. It was in autumn that wrote her heart out on paper and mailed it to him in jail. It was autumn when she realized… that she was officially addicted to how he made her feel. Oh how she hates autumn. Once again she’s asks herself in frustration: “How did this cruse happen”, “Why do I care?”… quickly flicking her cigarette out the window and shutting it she recites her coined catch phrase created; “What the was I thinking”.
Above her bed sat plastic star that faintly glows in the dark. The moon and the stars are her personal deities. She can remember gazing out at the window at the mysterious beauties while riding home from town with the family. She has always felt centered at night. Her life seemed less abnormal when she peered into the night sky. There are many mystical moments that comes to mind when she thinks about the night sky.
She’s restless tonight. She feels like she is denying denying herself a wonderful adventure by not falling into the dream realm. She had forced herself to wake up from nightmare this particular morning. She tends to dwell on her subconscious adventures because occasionally and coincidentally these adventures would formulate as precognitive dreams. Its not a superpower and it doesn’t happen on demand. Its like deja vu, except small details and valid recollection of the dreams.
She stopped to take a break from studying for finals to watch a scene from her childhood favorite movie. Then returned to her previous thoughts about the stars. Peering out the window to the stars she felt a sense of understanding of who she needed to be. For the first time in ages she felt hopeful again.
My friends child has called me “Anna” since he was 4. He can say my name perfectly… but says he likes calling me “Anna” better. I’ve asked him what an “Anna” a couple times his response:
“An Anna is like a grandmother but younger, an aunt that you like… and someone who cares for people”.
Talk about making me feel warm and fuzzy inside.
I swear the world would be a lot better without small minded bigots. Ignorance is NOT bliss. Muslims, true followers of the Islamic faith does NOT promote hate of Christians. Instead of believing some whack propaganda you hear on TV or someone tells you pick up the Qur’an and read it for yourself. Don’t speak against something you don’t know anything about that’s called being a bigot. I have no respect for bigots!
As a Christian who has not only read the bible but read the Qur’an I will always hold a special respect for those who are truly faithful to the teachings in the Qur’an no matter how my beliefs differ. My best friend is Ahmadi Muslim.
I have met several groups of Christians who judge other denominations Christians and declare they are “wrong” when in reality Even in the Bible (book of Mark, chapter 9) “38 And John answered him, saying, Master, we saw one casting out devils in thy name, and he followeth not us: and we forbad him, because he followeth not us. 39 But Jesus said, Forbid him not: for there is no man which shall do a miracle in my name, that can lightly speak evil of me.”. Catholic, Baptist, Pentecostal, Methodist, ect… it doesn’t matter because as long as they are doing good deeds in the name of Christ they aren’t to be judged because they are doing good in the name of Christ.
Muslims say this for members of all monotheistic faiths: Surah 2:
Surat Al-Baqarah (The Cow) vs 62 (2:62) ” Those who believe (in the Qur’an), and those who follow the Jewish (scriptures), and the Christians and the Sabians,- any who believe in Allah and the Last Day, and work righteousness, shall have their reward with their Lord; on them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve. “
*Allah is the Arabic word for God (al ilāh, iliterally “the God”). The word has cognates in other Semitic languages, including Alah in Aramaic, ʾĒl in Canaanite and Elohim in Hebrew.*
So that is to debunk the theory that the Qur’an speaks against Christians. I’m ending my rant now….
Do your home work before you decide to hate!
Don’t be a bigot.